Bittersweet Memories
by Sunshinedaizy
Summary: What do you do when everything stops? When the breath in your lungs catches in your throat, the beats of your heart struggle? The greatest loss may not be the death of something itself, but what dies for those left behind.
1. Prologue: Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

I do not own anything. I love Sonny with a Chance and felt inspired. Please don't sue me. Thanks and enjoy!

Title: **Bittersweet Memories  
**

Synopsis: What do you do when everything stops? When the breath in your lungs catches in your throat, the beats of your heart struggle? The greatest loss may not be death of something itself, but what dies for those left behind.

* * *

**Prologue: Goodbye Yellow Brick Road**

_"This boy's too young to be singing the blues. So goodbye yellow brick road."_

It was their third wedding anniversary. As Chad took a lingering look at the vision of her his mouth formed a tense smile. The simple black dress she wore made her look absolutely breathtaking. It took everything inside of him not to shout, but as he felt his breath catch into a lump in his throat he knew it would be of no use. While he stood in the church where they had spoken their wedding vows three years earlier he began to lose focus. As he heard the music start playing he began to feel his mind slip into aimless wander. A major part of him began to think about the past few years and about the people they used to be. It was nearly impossible for Chad not to think about how they had gotten to this point here.

Yiruma had always been Sonny's favorite composer. He could hear Holly becoming restless at the sound of the drifting melodies. Tawni gave him a cautious look, but said nothing. The day was beautiful, not a cloud in the sky. The flowers were perfect, the music was flawless. The pastor was ready and yet everything felt wrong.

'It was supposed to be different?' Chad thought to himself. "Its ok, I can take her." Chad had spoken quietly.

"Are you sure?" She had asked again, this time more verbal.

Chad just shook his head as he took the fussy little girl. It was amazing how tiny someone could be. Immediately the sun peeked through the stained glass windows. The sunshine seemed to calm the three month old and some of Chad's nervous feelings.

"It's time." Tawni spoke again standing up a little straighter. "Are you ready?"

He wasn't sure if he'd ever be ready, but this was the only time he got and he was going to try and make it count.

If only his mind could do the same.

* * *

Thank You Greatly For Reading! I appreciate every last comment you send because it helps me know that you are reading and that you have suggestions. I hope you like this story because it is something that is important to me.


	2. Chapter 1: The Way We Were

I do not own anything. I love Sonny with a Chance and felt inspired. Please don't sue me. Thanks and enjoy!

Title: **Bittersweet Memories  
**

Synopsis: What do you do when everything stops? When the breath in your lungs catches in your throat, the beats of your heart struggle? The greatest loss may not be death of something itself, but what dies for those left behind.

* * *

**Chapter 1: The Way We Were**

_"Misty watercolor memories of the way we were. Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind_  
_smiles we give to one another for the way we were."_

Chad wandering mind would always be able to remember the day they first met. Much like her namesake the air was crisp and clean; fresh with the promise of a cloudless day. For seventeen year old Chad Dylan Cooper this was golden. Most people who knew him were aware that he loved only three things. He cherished his famed teen heart-throb status, his electric blue BMW, and a sunny day in California.

Those days meant he could take his car out to the coast for a spin after filming was done. Chad knew by this point that a sunny day meant better lighting and more photographic opportunities. People never need to wonder why the sun always made him happy because he constantly looked freshly bronzed and his hair was expertly cut with the tousled in the wind look. The skies were blue and life was effortless for him. Chad was self centered and selfish in every way possible. Maybe she was the angel that saved him from the fate of most Hollywood boys? Looking into the future for him meant Teen Choice Awards and Emmys with his name on them. However that began to alter slightly this especially sunny day in the beginning of August.

Chad had only heard small rumblings and rumors that Mr. Condor had recently replaced the latest castoff of the comedy sketch show So Random with some Midwestern nobody. Walking into the cafeteria that beloved August day he had instantly spotted her for who he assumed she was; a nobody. It was obvious to him in the way she existed. Her medium brown hair was untouched by a proper salon and she was much too polite to have come from any star-studded town. In other words, she was fresh meat. It only took Chad a day of observing her to see that Sonny was exceedingly different. It was apparent that the brunette had never been to L.A. before. He remembered how tragic it was how she idolized him that first day. Sonny had been so enamored with him that she hadn't even noticed he had stolen her frozen yogurt. Even though the years had past since that day and for good reason had changed him greatly he could still laugh remembering her yelling.

"Oh My God Chad Dylan Cooper just stole my yogurt!"

Chad had been the typical flirtatious asshole of a teen star. With the right finesse he knew exactly what to do to get anything he wanted. It didn't matter though because Sonny didn't take any of his pretentious crap, but was sweet and subtle. Throughout the next few weeks he began to notice her more. In the beginning Chad had passed it off as normal curiosity, but even in those first meeting he couldn't deny the way she made him feel. There was something about Sonny's attitude that gave him a sense of smitten. Sonny, he wouldn't admit back then, was an incredible actress. She was odd and fearless, without knowing it she was also threatening in the simplest way. That was something remarkable in their line of work. Sonny had enormous talent that he began to admire with each week that went by. Each day he would hassle her and yet she played along never making him feel like the awful guy he actually was to people. Chad began to see just how special she was from other girls in the industry. Unlike her best friend Tawni Hart or his costar Penelope Davis who were born with silver spoons and gold plated cribs Sonny was down to earth. She had something that every last girl lacked and he found himself intensely drawn to it.

By the time Sonny's second season on So Random started Chad had convinced himself of two things. First was that Sonny was better than any of those beach blonde bimbos. She was different than the industry girls because of the substance of her brain and the depth of her heart. Sonny was sassy and smart; caring and thoughtful. Contrasting from the girls he usually dated or was habitually attracted to, she was real. Sonny he could see was a dreamer that always believed in working on gaining attainable goals and he knew with her conviction that she would achieve them also. The second thing he hated to admit was that with all this knowledge discovered he had become head over heels in love with her. This new feeling of loving something that wasn't material or about him was terrifying for so many reasons. It had been so long since this part of him was present. Chad had never been in love before, yes he had loved things, but never a young lady. At his age Chad had concluded that love was just a myth planned for romantic comedies and greeting cards. Love was just a made up emotion until he met Sonny. Nobody could ever find out he was actually having feelings like these. Chad was a notorious serial dater and if anyone fount out he was seriously considering a long term relationship with the 'funny girl' he knew his reputation would suffer greatly. Besides professional selfishness and fear Chad also knew the feud between their two rival shows would make it impossible to live down.

However the more time Chad set off spending with Sonny the deeper he fell and the less he started to imagine the consequences. He had also considered the point moot and the idea that Sonny wouldn't even care. Chad had treated her with such apathy over the last year he wouldn't be surprised if she hated him and laughed in his face. Yet

he knew that Sonny was far kinder and could never find the inspiration in her heart to hate anyone. What he did not expect was her agreement to one date with him. Their first date was far from harmonious, but she was patient with his nerves including the ones that made him toss his cookies. Sonny never made fun of him and even offered to drive him home that night.

That first date with her led to another two and two dates turned into four. Soon an innocent relationship started between the two of them. It didn't matter how secretive they attempted to be those first three months, when the news finally broke of the pair the aftermath was astonishing. Portlyn Mathews had blown a gasket, Sonny's So Random cast mates had stopped talking to her for a week, and the press made a carnival of the whole situation.

Chad had gotten used to bad press and of being scrutinized by hungry reporters looking for the next big story. He was aware of articles that were written by people who never cared if the details were true. Despite this Sonny had not been exposed to this part of the glamorous life and took it tougher.

"I don't know what to do Chad?" She had said walking into his dressing room one rainy day in November.

Picking up the latest copy of The Rag she had tossed carelessly on the table and seeing the painful look on Sonny's face made him nervous. Nonetheless he started reading the judgmental article anyways.

"_Chad Dylan Cooper of the popular teen drama Mackenzie Falls was recently spotted in Los Angeles's Sweet Sins bakery with a familiar brunette. We wonder if a Condor studio is playing a little practical joke to promote their upcoming holiday specials. It seems Mr. Heartbreaker was seen with So Random sweetheart Sonny Monroe. Are they serious? If this isn't the most obvious publicity stunt I've ever seen. We hope that Miss Monroe is just a wonderful image booster for Chad's more sensitive side and will be over before the clock strikes for the New Year. Here is hoping that Chad will be back with popstar Bethany Jacobs soon."_

Chad looked up from the horrible article to see Sonny biting her lips cautiously. Glancing at the sorrowful look on her face and the bravery she used when controlling her tear rimmed eyes it broke his heart to see her so melancholy.

It was in this perfectly imperfect moment he knew he was completely in love. Chad felt all the meaningless thing he prized take a back seat to falling for his first true love.

"It will be ok Sunshine." He said with a soft confidence. "I wouldn't worry about stupid reporters looking for a juicy story."

"I'm just afraid that my fans will see this and think differently…"

Chad always loved the way she blabbered aimlessly because it gave him the opportunity to surprise her with a kiss. "I love you." Chad said wholeheartedly into her eyes. "I think I have all this time, no matter what negative things people think, they're wrong."

Chad had never meant to make her cry, yet the tears fell. "Are you sure?" was her first response. "You just said you loved me?"

"As certain as the sky is blue." He said beaming.

"I love you too Chad." Sonny had said cheerfully.

Their relationship began with difficulty and yet they somehow made it function. Chad and Sonny had so many obstacles in front of their path, but they got through them together.

The first major bump in the road came shortly after the year marker of their relationship. A press story came out about Chad and his new cast mate Sara Cornell. The story claimed that Chad and Sara had been getting extra cozy behind the scenes on the set of Mackenzie Falls. In false details it explained the affair and how Chad had been unfaithful. When the article came out in Sizzle he dreaded what Sonny's reaction would be. Most of his past female companions would have kicked him to the curb before he could tell them the truth. Those girls would have believed the untruthful accusations before him. Walking into his dressing room he was fearful Sonny had read the article and believed every word.

Looking up from her copy of Jane Eyre seriously she simply said, "I think you should audition for that new movie, the one about the teen assassin."

"Did you read Sizzle this afternoon?" Chad asked carefully.

Sonny laughed popping another chip in her mouth and rolling her eyes, "If you are referring to the story about you and Sara I think it is a bunch of bull. It is a bunch of bull right?"

Instantaneously he could have dropped to his knees then and there. She was his soul mate if they existed and he was beginning to believe in a lot of things he never did before.

"Of course it isn't true?" Chad expressed with relief.

"I knew that, but I just wanted to see your panic face." Sonny had said giggling. "So do you think you'll do the movie or not?"

Just like that the topic was over. Filed in a locked cabinet and never brought up again. Chad had been selfish most of his life, but at nineteen years old he knew better than to make a stupid mistake and let Sonny go. He would never cheat.

The relationship was not perfect but they enjoyed every moment of chaotic bliss together. Sonny and Chad adored the unpredictable part of their love. Months went by, seasons changed, and years turned them from young naive teenagers into insightful young adults.

People could have said they started seeing the changes in Chad the summer he started filming Teen Assassin. He had just turned nineteen and by the next summer the film was in theaters all over the world. It had been Chad's first movie project and he would infinitely be grateful to Sonny for convincing him to do it. The film had done so well that they decided to make the franchise into a trilogy. With all the success came more challenges including long distance when Chad needed to move to Europe for the film. Most of the filming was done during the summer break for Mackenzie Falls. When the fall rolled back around Chad would have to rush home for three days to film Mackenzie Falls and spend the rest of the week in Europe. In those modest peaceful moments they got together they would spend hours relaxing on the couch and ordering take out. Although he loved his acting career he was beginning to realize that it could never replace the nights spent with Sonny. Relationships he was seeing strived on communication and he always called every night no matter how late it was for him in Europe.

Finally around Sonny's twentieth birthday filming was over and Chad would be able to come home. They celebrated his return by going out to a diner, trying unsuccessfully to avoid the paparazzi.

"So what are you going to do with your new movie star life?" Sonny asked him that night.

He remembered being a little worried, but it wouldn't be the end of the world of she disagreed. "I think I want to buy a house." Chad said attempting to sound self-assured.

"I should buy a house, right?"

Sonny had given him a supportive smile, but said nothing. Chad loved the way she allowed him process through his thoughts. That she would love him no matter what decision he ended up making. He admired the way she could make him feel safe without saying anything.

"I've been living in studios and hotels suites since I was nine. I want to have a home. I need a place to be proud of and call my own. I should do this I mean I'm twenty-one years old and I've never actually lived in a real house."

Sonny only asked one question on the subject, "Where?"

The nerves started attacking him again yet he knew this was the correct choice for him to be making. "I want to live where you do; I want to be where you are."

Chad remembered the surprised on Sonny's face and the way she stuttered when she answered. "I'm a little confused, are you asking me to move in with you?"

"Yes I am." He spoke smiling with a new found confidence. "I am also pretty sure I found the perfect house too."

"Are you sure?" Sonny had said bewildered.

"Chad chuckled, "Why is that always your first response? Of course I'm sure. I love spending my time with you. I love always being around you. I am as certain as the sky is blue."

* * *

Thank you everyone for the reviews. Thank you for reading and I promise I will update at least once a month. This is going to be a shorter story with only five chapters and an epilogue.

Still I hope you enjoy it.

:


	3. Chapter 2: Marry Me Juliet

I do not own anything. I love Sonny with a Chance and felt inspired. Please don't sue me. Thanks and enjoy!

Title: **Bittersweet Memories**

Synopsis: What do you do when everything stops? When the breath in your lungs catches in your throat, the beats of your heart struggle? The greatest loss may not be death of something itself, but what dies for those left behind.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Marry Me Juliet **

_"He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said, marry me Juliet. You'll never have to be alone. I love you and that's all I really know."_

The house was beautiful. Almost instantaneously Chad felt a deep sense of home when stepping through the front door. If this had been the old Chad he would have rolled his eyes and brushed off the space as unlivable. However he was no longer that Chad, but a different one, the type of Chad that loved this house a lot.

Glimpsing around he knew he had to have it. It was a small starter home that needed an enormous amount of fixing up, but with all he had been through this was one challenge that seemed simple enough. The only problem was that he wished his mom was still alive to share the joy with him; to be here to share this home with him also. His dad had left when he was only six months old and he had no other siblings. Chad's mother was also an only child so he had neither an aunt nor an uncle.

* * *

Chad had been a very active child from Boise, Idaho. People would have been shocked to learn that their favorite teen heart-throb grew from such humble beginnings, yet it was true. His mother was a quiet girl who had gotten pregnant at seventeen and upon those circumstances was pushed by her old fashioned father into a shotgun wedding. Her marriage lasted a little over a year and Chad's grandfather disowned his only daughter before the ink was even dry. Chad had only vague memories of his grandfather besides being in a crowded church for a funeral when Leo Dylan had died of a heart attack. Chad had been only five years old at the time.

Wanting to get away from the pain and disgrace of a broken family Annabelle Dylan took her only son and left for the sunny shores of the West Coast. Anna tried her toughest to give Chad a good life often working two or three mind-numbing jobs just to put food on the table in their pest consumed apartment. Then one day when Chad was eight he had asked her if he could go to a casting call he had heard about from a friend at school. It was for a national commercial and needless to say Chad had nailed it. The eight year old became the face of Buddy Boys Chocolate Chunk Cookies. Anna assumed that this would be it and would satisfy her son's need for the attention she struggled so much to give him. However soon Chad was getting more commercial offers and one day had received a spot on a children's program called Storybookville. The money came in bunches and yet she continued to work those jobs in the hope it would teach Chad the value of hard work just in case the acting fizzled out. No matter how much they fought financially she never spent a penny of her son's money and put every last cent he earned into a trust for him to open on his twenty-first birthday. Sure she could have spent it so that they could have lived in a nice little house instead of the rundown apartment, but she knew it wouldn't be honest. Chad had earned that money and he deserved to use it when he was of age. Chad had been living in his own trailer by age ten and the rest was history.

Years went by and soon Chad had gotten the coveted lead role as Mackenzie on a new teen drama; Mackenzie Falls. Chad was fifteen and it was the best he could have hoped for. In spite of his greatest success that week the news was overshadowed by the bomb that despite never smoking a day in her life, Annabelle Dylan had lung cancer.

* * *

Sitting down on one of the porch steps Chad remembered the day his mother died. He was sixteen years old and it had rained all day. The funeral was a private occasion, a few friends Anna had made at her various jobs, some of Chad's cast mates on Storybookville, including Tallulah Hart, later it would be changed to Tawni. The small funeral was elegant and heartbreaking. Chad had been grateful to everyone that had shown up. His mother had been very important to him and Chad would miss her greatly. That was probably the reason why he acted like a pompous jerk all those teenage years. Chad frowned as he imagined how disappointed Anna would have been in him. Everything was going to change now. Today he was going to be the man his mother died trying to help him become. Reading the letter she had written to him for his twenty-first birthday he knew he needed this house. He remembered the loving way she had always wanted this house as they would drive by. How she would always tell Chad the dreams she had for them in this house. Chad unfolded the letter and read it again, tears clouding his vision.

_Dear Chad,_

_I'm so sorry that I can't be there with you today love, but I'm sure you would have been too embarrassed by my presence anyways. Happy Birthday love, I want to let you know that I'm extremely proud of you and I'm sure you have become such an incredible young man. I wanted to let you know that I would give anything to be there with you right now telling you this, but as we both know life has a different plan for me. I also wanted to share with you that there is a trust in your name with all the money from the projects you did as a kid. I don't know how much time we will have together in this world love, but I will be waiting and watching over you in the next one._

_Love Always, Mom_

Chad had been such a terrible person. There was one person that saved him from continuing down that destructive path, one person that reminded him of the faith his mother had in him and he wanted to share this house with her. Chad had told Sonny the story while walking through the house and her eyes filled with tears.

"This house is beautiful Chad." She had said sniffling "I would love to move into it with you."

By the next weekend the For Sale sign was down and they were painting the exterior and shutters. As February came and went the house was finished. Six months of back breaking work and juggling house renovations with their respective shows, but when it was finally done it had became a beautiful home. Press people had often questioned Chad and Sonny about doing the work themselves, but they always answered with the same response. That it would never be a true home unless a piece of you went into building it.

A beautiful home it became. The outside had been painted a deep gray with white shutters. A white wrap around porch complete with swing complimented the small Victorian house perfectly. The inside of the house was homey and inviting. Tawni had always joked it had a very Betty Crocker meets Hollywood feel. Often cast mates were gathered around the large maple table sharing meals and laughter long into the nights until it would begin to reach dawn. Sonny and Chad's house was a tool to make peace between the former rival shows. It was glorious and heartwarming. The more time spent in that house with Sonny the more Chad felt like she was a part of what made that house feel like a home.

This is what led to him making his decision a few months later. You see Chad would eternally remember the night he had asked Sonny to marry him. With Chad's twenty second birthday came revisions to Mackenzie Falls. It followed the main characters journey into adulthood and life after Prep School. More importantly it followed Mackenzie's involvement in being the Vice President of his father's company.

His ploy had been to convince Sonny he needed her to run lines with him for an upcoming episode. This was not an easy task considering even though Sonny was a closeted Mack Falls watcher he knew how much she hated spoilers. She was one of those people that liked surprises on the shows she got time to watch. That night she had no idea what kind of surprise awaited her. Sonny liked being able to watch Mackenzie Falls and not know beforehand by running lines with Chad. However Sara was 'sick' this particular night and Chad pleaded for Sonny's help. With her kind heart and the love she had for him she couldn't say no. They were on the set of Mackenzie Falls one night after So Random had wrapped for the night when Sonny started.

"I don't know Mackenzie; I'm not seeing many options here."

"I know it seems my mother is insisting on this marriage going through."

"So there is nothing we can do? I don't have much of a choice do I; if I want the money for my sister's surgery?"

"I don't think so, with my father in failing health I am the heir to the company and I need a wife." Chad read off the fake script.

Sonny paused from the scene for a minute, "Ok Chad I think I missed something? Did you guys decide on a dream sequence? This isn't making any sense, I'm lost? This doesn't even go with the episodes I've seen?"

Chad smiled, "I am not sure, but this is the script I got." He lied.

He continued quickly fearing that she would lose interest or worse possibly figure him out. "I guess if we have to go along with this marriage I want to do this properly." Dropping to his knees he grabbed her hand gently. Chad couldn't really pinpoint the exact feelings or thoughts that were going through his mind, but swallowing the lump in his throat he went for it.

"Would you marry me Sonny?" His eyes sparkled as he clearly spoke those beautiful words.

Sonny as he expected started to giggle, "You accidentally said Sonny."

Throwing his script over his shoulder he smiled, "No, that wasn't an accident."

She had gotten quiet the silly grin dropping from her face. "Did… did you just ask me to marry you?" Sonny stuttered.

By the look on her face, he had gotten gradually more nervous, "Um… yeah?" Searching his mind for something he had missed. He cautiously put his hands in his pockets. Suddenly he remembered the black satin box. Pulling it out he opened it revealing a modestly square cut engagement ring.

"It was my grandmother's" he said more seriously. "I want to marry you; I want to make you happy Sonny. You have given me the real reason for life. You've helped me understand that living isn't about the things we gather, but the people we gain. My grandfather worked so hard to buy this ring for my grandma, my mom supported me working two jobs in order to give me this life. Until I met you I forgot about that reality."

It only took a few words to end his monologue. "Of course I'll marry you Chad."

"You were starting make me nervous Sunshine." Chad spoke blowing out a gush of air.

"I'm sorry; I guess I was a little in shock. Are you going to put the ring on or do I have to do that myself?"

Chad chuckled as he placed the vintage ring on her perfect finger. It was then that the chaos began. It only took the media a week to find out about the engagement and only another two weeks to question whether it would last. Despite the constant negativity surrounding the event Sonny and Chad planned a wedding without question or concern. The wedding took around a year to plan, yet after all the stress and organizing it had been an enchanting day.

On the morning of February nineteenth twenty one year old Alison Monroe felt a sense of bittersweet. By the end of the day she would no longer be little Allie from grade school, she would have to let go parts of So Random's Sonny Monroe and would wake up tomorrow as Alison Cooper. As much as the thought scared her it also amazed her more. She loved Chad greatly and knew with utmost certainty that she was making the right decision. She would be honored to be Sonny Cooper, his wife.

Chad woke up that morning also with a bittersweet feeling. Looking at a picture of his mother and him at his grandfather's funeral it was astonishing how Annabelle had been the same as Chad. He missed her more this day because he knew how much wisdom she had gained already at that age. Chad wished greatly that she could share this day with him and the secrets of how to be a good husband. How he could be better than his deadbeat father.

The fear of possibly letting Sonny down terrified him for awhile until he saw his adorable bride appear in the small doorway of a little church. She had worn a simple white gown with little white flowers in her dark brown hair. Looking up from his hands he saw her and it took his breath away. Her hands were filled with a beautiful arrangement of red and white roses. A bright smile lit up her face and it took all of his strength not to whisk her away right in that moment she approached him. The way she glided down the aisle towards him made him believe in angels. With all their friends and her family gathered in a little church they said 'I do.'

The little white church was filled with white flower petals and candles. Sonny's older sister Elizabeth had stood by her side as maid of honor and Chad had chosen his new friend Grady as his best man. Chad could barely remember the fullness of the day, but he remembered the vow he made to his true love for forever and for always.

The pastor spoke clearly over the crowded church, "Do you Chad Dylan Cooper, take Alison Connie Monroe as your beloved wife? Do you promise to love her and cherish her until death do you part?"

There was no question in his mind as he spoke his "I do." As Sonny's tears of joy mixed with her vow to him, he knew that he would forever be in love with her.

It was difficult for Chad to remember the whole busy night because he had been distracted for most of it. Aside from being rushed to meet various relatives or blinded by photo opportunities and countless interviews with magazines his whole focus was on his lovely new wife. Sonny had looked like as graceful as every last dream he felt she was.

They ate food, cut the delicious chocolate cake creation, and danced to crazy music. No matter how many years would go by Chad would try his hardest to never forget this day and the image of how Sonny looked. He memorized that way she felt in his arms during their first dance to 'This is Love' by Hellogoodbye, he memorized the way she giggled mischievously while smashing cake into his face and the way it tickled when she whispered into his ear how much she loved him. Knowing in those moments he would always try his best to make her happy.

* * *

The next year was filled with burnt dinners, water mains breaking, and tons of love. Sonny and Chad did not have the perfect life, but they weren't at each others throats like the media often claimed. They had an honest and true marriage. People often say that marriage changes a couple and they would have been right. It seemed that life went by faster, set itself into a common schedule and before they knew it they had been married for two years. Time just flew away and they found themselves maturing within it.

At twenty three it became harder to be on a teenage drama and Chad's time on Mackenzie Falls ended and led to him embarking on a new movie career. Although it didn't leave much time for them they did their best to make the every last day and night count. Sonny had started a singing tour and sometimes they would meet in random cities for a night to catch up and enjoy wedded bliss. This was fairly common for the second year of their marriage, but their marriage and their feeling for one another never suffered. The big changes in their lives started one night in April. Chad had finally gotten a break. They had recently celebrated their second wedding anniversary and Chad's latest romantic comedy finishing filming. Life for the lovers was excellent. They had planned to take some time to relax and go on a vacation. They found that all the planning could not have prepared them for this night.

It was a particular starry night Chad could flashback to like it had been yesterday. Sitting outside on the porch steps he remembered Sonny came out and quietly kissed him. She still smelled like the scent of perfume mixed with the chocolate chip cookies she had been baking.

"Hey Chad?" she had said sweetly sitting on his lap. "If I told you a secret would promise not to tell?"

As he looked into the eyes of his wife he became increasingly nervous, but answered anyway. "Yes Sunshine I promise."

* * *

Holly had become quiet as he waited for Tawni to finish speaking. Looking at his daughter he couldn't help but remember that night and a small piece of him came back to life.

* * *

"I'm pregnant." Sonny had spoken so quickly he didn't hear her at first so she had said it a second time. "Chad we're going to have a baby."

"Are you sure?" Chad asked smiling feeling his face starting to flush.

Sonny smiled proudly, "I am as certain as the sky is blue; as certain as the stick is blue also."

Chad kissed her gently and the journey began. If he had thought Sonny was beautiful the day the met he would say it was young love. At that time he couldn't have predicted the beauty she would gain by the time she put on that simple white dress and walk towards him. But still neither of those days could prepare him for the first time he came home to see her showing. It was determined by her first appointment that Sonny was two months along by the time April came. The first four months of her pregnancy were quite rough, but not impossible considering Chad had been gone for two months. As much as it killed him he had to do interviews and press junkets for a small independent film. He planned to get all of the press out of the way and after that he made a promise to take time to focus on his new family.

It was a sunny afternoon when Chad silently entered the house to see Sonny looking into the mirror irritated. Over the years he had seen that look directed towards him and a few other rude people. Whether he was a selfish seventeen years old trying to get a rise out of her or if he was in his twenties forgetting to take out the trash he had never seen that look in this way. Happy that for once it wasn't for him he tried not to laugh. Chad looked at her and he didn't know if there would be another moment he would love her more. Glancing at her he smiled attempting to hide the fact he was there, but she had caught him staring.

"It's horrendous isn't it?" She had said with a disgusted look on her face.

"I think it's magical." Chad said giving her a supportive squeeze.

"Sonny shook her head before muttering "says the person that didn't gain fifteen pounds this week."

"See…you are like any other college student." Chad had joked. It might not have been the best thing to say; but at only twenty four he was still learning how to be somebody's husband. This meant that Chad still said stupid things and he knew immediately the mistake he had made when her mouth had formed into a thin line before her icy voice emerged.

"This isn't funny Mr. Teen Heart-throb. I swear on our unborn child's life Chad Dylan Cooper that you make another remark like that and you will have a one way ticket sleeping on the couch."

Chad's voice softened. "I'm sorry Sunshine. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I think you look beautiful and there is something so alluring about this whole glowing thing."

It turned out that both of them slept on the couch that night. After that night there weren't many like it. Between the busy schedules, the doctors appointments, Lamaze classes, and trying to get everything ready there wasn't much time to be alone besides sleeping. Weeks turned to months and soon it was fall again.

They were suppose to be at the studio an hour ago, but a seven month pregnant Sonny couldn't find anything to wear.

"Honey, it doesn't matter what you wear it is just a simple get together. You don't want to be late for your own baby shower do you?"

"I should moo; I look like a cow in this!" She had yelled from the closet throwing a black and white dress.

"What about the green one?" Chad said cautiously.

"I would look like a giant fat apple." Sonny said emerging from the closet wiping off her tears.

Chad laughed, "A pretty delicious apple, I would say."

Shaking her head she smiled kissing him quietly traveling back into the closet and came out wearing the green dress. "Could you zip me up please?"

Chad smiled and kissed her on the cheek. "Of course Sunshine."

The baby shower went off with a hitch as well as the rest of Sonny's pregnancy. During those days Chad never assumed anything when it came to Sonny and the pregnancy. He often felt lost in a minefield wishing his mom could be there to guide him through things. Chad wished he were in a video game at times, just for a cheat code to help him understand what to say. Sonny was never difficult, but he felt so sad at her unhappiness. Often times he felt like he was saying the wrong things or getting the wrong ice cream. Sonny never complained and always appreciated him. He respected the way she tried so hard to be happy even when she was uncomfortable and sore. Even when Sonny had been two weeks overdue she never blamed him; never cursed him out. Sonny had a refreshing sense of humor about the whole thing. It was in these two weeks that they decided against their former ideas to give their daughter a name.

"I swear I'm going to be pregnant until Christmas." Sonny said sitting on the couch flipping through the channels.

Chad began humming Holly Jolly Christmas when suddenly Sonny's eyes lit up. "I like that name!"

"What name?" Chad said looking up from his copy of 'The Father's Guide'.

"I know we said we were going to wait, but I think we should name her Holly." Sonny suggested excitedly.

"Holly Annabelle Cooper; I like it too." Chad said letting the name echo around the living room.

They began talking about Wisconsin and the snow that Chad had never seen before. They promised to make a trip to Sonny's home state after Holly was born.

* * *

It would have figured that Sonny would go into labor in the middle of the biggest rainstorm California would see that November. That night had been fairly normal, they had eaten dinner and Sonny had fallen asleep by eight from exhaustion. Chad had decided to invite Grady over to play a new video game when the worse of the storm hit. In California it had been raining for three straight days, but this night was the weathermen predicted floods and straight line winds. He remembered convincing Grady to stay and when he declined wishing him a safe journey home. Chad was closing the door when he heard Sonny tip toe out.

"I'm sorry did we wake up?" Chad had said apologizing.

There was a slight look of panic on her face as she winced. "At first I thought she was just being a little soccer player, but then I started leaking. I believe my water broke. I think we are having a baby tonight." Sonny had taken a huge shaky breath.

Chad's mind went completely clear as he opened the door. "Grady wait!"

The rest of the night was like a blur. Explaining to Grady the situation and how his car would hydroplane in this kind of rain. He remembered being in such a rush of adrenaline he needed Grady to help him bring Sonny to the hospital in his SUV. Chad could vaguely remember a loud delivery room, and a little girl born at 11:49 on November 28th. When everything had settled down he remembered watching his girls sleeping and thinking how proud he was to have this life.

If only the joy of these moments would've lasted forever.

However it didn't and it would destroy him. Now, he was only left with memories.

* * *

**Hi Folks, I'm super excited about this story. I guess that is why I am being so quick to update. **

**I feel like their aren't a lot of stories about Chad's mind on things. So this is it. Enjoy!**

**I changed the title because I didn't like the first one. I needed a title before and just kind of through it out there. It had a purpose, but as I began editing Chapter 2 this title made more sense.  
**

**I have loved everyone's reviews and appreciate them greatly. So as a thank you I will send some shout outs. I know it seems kind of silly and juvenile for someone of my age, but I don't care because I want every last person to know how amazing their comment was for me.**

_**VeVe2491: I hope this was ASAP enough for you. Thank you!**_

**_LOLChanny819: Thanks I am proud. This is the first story in which I have written most of it before posting. I think I was just in a mood. Thank you so very much._**

**_Tatiana: I am sorry for all the mystery, but I hope this chapter was a little more straight forward. I'm trying not to be as mysterious, but if you haven't guessed it. There is one more secret (or not so secret) thing I have. However I will update in time and you will know. (If you don't already see it coming) Thank you Thank you Thank you. Your comment made me explain myself better.  
_**

**_channy4eva16: Chad and Sonny are so cute thank you so much and your sn is inspiring._**

**As for everyone else. Who is reading now. Send reviews. I'm not demanding or in high need of praise or anything. It is just cool to hear what people think. Especially considering a more emotional story like this one. You will get a shout out I promise. I have read some of the stories you've written and they are amazing.  
**

**THANK YOU EVERYONE. Have a good night. **

**PS: Congrats to Demi Lovato for getting through those tough times.  
**


	4. Chapter 3: Not Supposed to Go Like That

I do not own anything. I love Sonny with a Chance and felt inspired. Please don't sue me. Thanks and enjoy!

Title: **Bittersweet Memories**

Synopsis: What do you do when everything stops? When the breath in your lungs catches in your throat, the beats of your heart struggle? The greatest loss may not be death of something itself, but what dies for those left behind.

* * *

**Chapter 3: Its Not Supposed to Go Like That**

_"Life is a journey constantly turning; down an unknown path. _

_But it's not supposed to like that."_

Today was meant to be a special day. It had been almost six months since they had book this church. It was Sonny's idea and she knew that ever since they had gotten married here it would be difficult to get this church if they didn't plan beforehand. All of their friends were here just as they had been three years before.

Chad could barely focus; he had no idea how he was suppose to speak for any length of time. He took a longing look at his wife. Today was supposed to be a day of joy and life. They were suppose to be baptizing their daughter, he shouldn't be burying her mother. He hated funerals, they were always so final. It would mean this would start the days without her. That Holly would have to begin her life without a mother. Today meant that Sonny wasn't coming back and he would also have to motivate himself into living his life with of piece of himself missing. This thought brought salty bitter tears to his eyes. Why would god make him so unlucky with the people he loved? Zora saw the droplets of water falling and bounced from her seat to take Holly.

"Take all the time you need," she spoke solemnly. "We have all the time in the world, everyone here loved her."

Chad shook his head and swallowed back the remaining tears.

"I will always remember the first day I met Sonny." He started seeing as the room lit up with this memory and silent tears formed around the open church.

Another lump started forming as he spotted Connie Monroe sobbing into her husband's arms. Sonny's sisters Betsy and Emily were hugging their boyfriends. This reminded Chad that he would never be able to comfort his wife again. As much as this broke his heart he knew he had to be brave enough for her and he had to continue.

"Sonny was such an amazing person. No matter where she went or what she did she always lifted the spirits of the people she came across. There was something about her that just made you want to smile. Despite my constant denial and frustrating behavior towards her some part of me always knew I had to have her in my life. I fell in love with her and I still love her greatly. The best thing about Sonny was that you always knew and felt that she loved you as well. I know without a doubt she felt a deep sense of love for me. The only exception was Holly. That little girl was Sonny's most important love. There won't be a day that will go by that I won't miss her and wish Holly could really understand the power of Sonny's love. Rest in Peace Sunshine."

After his eulogy he placed one last kiss on his wife's lips hoping in vain that like Snow White she would awaken from her eternal slumber. Opening his eyes he finally let the tears fall for the tragedy was; that Sonny's eyes would never open again.

Zora handed Holly to him and he placed a sweet kiss on her soft plush cheek. Holly was everything great in Sonny. From her dark brown hair to the quiet way she existed Holly was the best and most painful parts of her mother. As much as he loved this part of his daughter it also broke his heart into a thousand pieces. The only thing she had gotten from him were her piercing green eyes and he embraced this part of her for his sanity.

* * *

The next few weeks were more a blur of sad potlucks filled with mourning people and Tawni shoving food at him. Connie and Greg had left the day before promising him help if ever he or Holly needed anything. Everyone pitched in, but after a month only her So Random cast mates remained. Nico and Grady were in charge of dishes and garbage. Zora did the laundry and Tawni took care of Holly.

Lying in the guest bed Chad was full of sad memories. He began to feel the tragedy that was his life.

* * *

Sonny was the new writer and producer of So Random. While the rest of her cast mates had moved on completely a part of her always believed So Random would be an important part of her. When she heard Marshall was leaving to take care of his ailing mother she had asked Mr. Condor for the job. Sonny had no idea that she had been Mr. Condor's favorite (besides his own daughter Dakota). Sonny also didn't know that he had a weakness for pregnant women after his sister had gotten pregnant at sixteen and ran away from home. So at twenty-three Sonny had become the producer and head writer of So Random. She was very happy with the new cast and they loved and respected her as well.

It had been Valentine's Day and she had some last minute revisions before the scripts were going to the printers. Sonny checked her watch knowing that she only had a half an hour before their eight o' clock dinner reservation. Layla one of the new Randoms who was babysitting had called her to let her know Holly was ok and had just fallen asleep. Everything was perfect. The restaurant was only ten minutes away. After quickly finding Tawni's secret make up and hair supplies hidden in the girls bathroom in case of emergencies she laughed. By seven forty five she was rushing out the door. Picking up her phone she dug her keys out of her purse.

"I'm just leaving Chad, you can get the table and I'll be there in maybe ten minutes. I love you Valentine," she had said to him candidly. "I'll miss our little valentine at home, but I'm excited to finally have some alone adult time with you."

Chad had laughed, "I'll see you soon Sunshine."

Those were the last words they ever spoke to one another. No more than six minutes later crossing Tenth Street and Rodeo Drive Vincent Nickles drunk after a few rum and cokes ran a red light killing his eighteen year old passenger and twenty-three year old Sonny Monroe- Cooper.

After the first half an hour he assumed she had forgotten something at the studio. When forty five minutes rolled by he thought she had gotten caught up with something or some bad traffic. It wasn't until the time flashed nine o' clock that he began to worry. Now Sonny wasn't the most punctual person, but she also hadn't ever been an hour late. Calling her phone his heart started to quicken with fear. It had gone straight to voice-mail. His fear became more real when a delivery man walked into the restaurant yelling. "I just saw a really bad accident. Turn on the news Shelby, I think they said it was that So Random girl."

Chad was frozen as Shelby immediately turned on the television where California's top news anchor Jessica James was at the scene of an accident. "It seems that the driver who's name has yet to be released was intoxicated at the time of the accident. His passenger was killed instantly whereas Mrs. Cooper was taken to Cedar Siani Hospital with life threatening injuries."

Chad had jumped from his spot and ran out. He could almost feel the heat from all the stares he received. The amount of jaws that dropped were both shocked and horrified. Yet all those people were invisible as he ran out onto the street. He knew he would be too distracted to drive and Sonny would make fun of him if he had gotten into another accident while rushing to see her. However she would never have the chance to because five minutes before Chad's taxi arrived, Allison Connie Monroe Cooper had died at nine thirty five that Valentines evening.

* * *

Tawni walked into the guest room disturbing him from his painful thoughts and bittersweet memories. "I was wondering if you wanted me to make the bed in the master bedroom?"

Chad spoke flatly. "You can do whatever, I don't care Blondie."

Tawni had softened over the years since meeting Sonny. Sonny's presence had changed everyone's lives as much as Chad's. She understood what Chad was feeling and how he could be this way, but even she knew she had had enough.

"Chad Dylan Cooper you stop this right now!" Tawni shouted slamming the door behind her. "You don't think I miss her too! You don't think I wake up every morning wishing our last conversation was about something more meaningful than makeup and shoes? She was my best friend and she's gone Chad. Sonny isn't coming back no matter how much we close our eyes and wish she would. It isn't fair Chad, but she would be so disappointed in you. It has been six weeks and you know what else isn't fair? The fact that you have a beautiful little girl who just lost her mother and she needs you right now. Holly is going to grow up without her mommy and she is loosing her father to his awful selfishness. I think that is unfair."

Instantly she ripped open that curtains and lowered her voice. "Today is the rest of your life Chad. You better start living it because staying in this dirty bed is not going to bring her back Chad. I will make you some pancakes. In the meantime you will get out of this bed and take a shower. You smell like dirty socks and vodka."

Chad crumbled into a mess of tears. "I didn't even tell her I loved her. She said it that night and I...I didn't even say it. I felt it, but I forgot to."

Tawni walked over and gave Chad a hug. "She knew everyday that you loved her."

He looked at her with a pained expression. "Thanks Tawni," he laughed sadly, 'Do you even know how to make pancakes?"

Tawni smiled, "Not really, but I'll have Grady make them and I'll attempt coffee and toast. I am not lying though, you smell like that bum that sits outside the Starbucks."

Thus with a deep breath his life began again. When he had gotten out of the shower he didn't necessarily feel clean, but he did feel differently. Walking into the kitchen he was somewhat grateful to see all the pictures were gone temporarily. Chad wasn't sure if he would be strong enough for that today.

Placing a plate of pancakes in front of him Grady looked at him cautiously afraid to say the wrong thing. Chad felt upset that he had these people walking on egg shells after they had taken so much time out of their lives to be so kind to him in his time of need. Tawni placed a second plate of toast with banana on it and a cup of black coffee. "Eat," she instructed firmly. "I always promised her I wouldn't let you turn to skin and bones."

Grady had sat down in front of his own breakfast and ate silently. Observing the conversation quietly he shook his head agreeing with whatever Tawni had said.

"Where are Zora and Nico?" Chad finally spoke hoarsely. His vocal chords felt foreign and weird from under use.

"Zora went to the grocery store and Nico is with Camille at the zoo."

A lot had changed for the Randoms over the past few years. After they had all gotten too old for the teen sketch show each went onto a different adult journey. While Sonny had started a family and stuck close to So Random that other choice separate paths.

Tawni Hart had left the show and jumped into the world of modeling. She currently was working for Victoria Secret and engaged to Mr. Condor's oldest son Trevor. Nico Harris started a successful music career. He met Camille and had gotten married last year. The whole cast had been surprised and skeptical by the whirlwind romance. Yet when they finally met Camille they were certain that Nico had made the right choice. Grady Mitchell went into voice work for children's cartoons. His current projects included some of the popular cartoons for Condor Studios. Zora Lancaster was the only of the Randoms to leave the business. She would do an occasional guest spot on shows, but preferred at the moment to be a normal college student. So though she would kind of miss it at nineteen she decided to enroll at UCLA with a major in modern literature and philosophy.

Grady finally spoke softly seeing that Chad's coffee cup had been emptied. "Would you like some more coffee?"

Chad smiled kindly, "yes, thank you Grady. For everything." Grady was well aware that he was also mentioning the night Holly was born.

Grady smiled back, "Not a problem, we're friends and that is just what friends do for one another."

Chad nodded taking a bite of toast. "Is this banana toast?" Chad had said tears forming in his eyes. "I haven't had this in a long time." He laughed sorrowful through his tears "I remember the months when Sonny was first pregnant and this was the one that she was able to keep down. My mom used to make this for me when I was a kid. Whenever I was sick or had a rough day."

"Sonny told me that story." Tawni said finding herself tearing up as well. "I am surprised I don't remember considering I remember your mom. Gosh Chad so much has changed." She said shaking her head.

Chad and Sonny had chosen Tawni and Grady to be Holly's godparents. Tawni had always been the most obvious choice, but after Grady's miraculous favor they knew that he would always take care of their daughter if something happened to them. When they made these plans however they never expected one of them actually not being here.

"Where is Holly?" Chad asked regretfully. He knew how much he had been neglecting her and that his daughter deserved so much better from him. Tawni was right Sonny would have been so unhappy with him. Chad knew that even his own mother would have been upset too that he was acting with such selfishness.

"She is sleeping in her nursery; which reminds me I should explain her schedule to you. She should be out for another hour or so." Tawni said calmly. It had been amazing how much of an organized person she had transformed into since Sonny's death. Maybe that was the gift Sonny had left behind for her? Knowing that Chad would need the structure if she were to not be there. "Grady and I will do the morning dishes while you take care of the master bedroom."

Chad had given her the most painful of pleading looks, but she knew better than to let him give in to his depression.

"I know, but you are going to have to go in there one day. I promise all you have to do is make the bed. If you don't want to sleep there I understand, but the bed needs to be made. You can take all the time you need."

Almost as soon as he opened the door the sunlight hit his face. "Hello Sunshine." Chad said sadly, "I'm sorry it has taken me so long."

The whole room was filled with the scent of her perfume. Laying on the bed he could almost feel her next to him. Closing his eyes he prayed silently he was dreaming and Sonny would wake him up with her soft giggle or a swift sweet kiss. However as he opened his eyes his vision was not filled with the sight of her smile, but clouded with a fresh accumulation of tears. Picking up the photo on the nightstand he let the flood of grief hit him. The picture had been taken during the renovations of the house. Even though they were covered with paint and looked nothing like the people most saw on television he didn't know if he would enjoy a picture more. Looking around the room he was slammed with a multitude of memories. Their wedding picture sat on the dresser, the pair of heeled shoes he always tripped over were still in the same place in the closet, and one of Holly's blankets was still draped over the comfy chair in the corner by the window. It is funny how many little things you see that remind you of an old life.

Opening the door to the master bathroom he heard the all too familiar creek. Sonny had always joked that it gave character to the house. Stubbing his toe on the side cabinet he cursed silently how they never had gotten that fixed no matter how many times each had done that very thing. Chad opened her medicine drawer finding a bottle of aspirin, a half opened box of tampons, a pregnancy test, and a small bottle of her perfume. The common sights of living with a woman he would never be able to complain about anymore. Yet if he could have her back he would vow never to utter one negative thing about her bathroom chaos. Spritzing a mist of her perfume made his eyes water. Closing the drawer he looked behind him in the mirror towards the tub. Chad could just imagine how much she loved that tub. They had gotten at an estate sale and she had fallen in love with it immediately. Crawling into the empty tub he sunk into the memory for one more time.

* * *

"Chad I found the most beautiful bathroom creation ever created in all of the world!" Sonny had shouted over a throng of people.

He had always admired how she never minded that people often stared at her. "In all of the world?" Chad had asked laughing. There was no question when he saw Sonny's face light up about it. The tub was a monstrous old fashioned thing and made of porcelain. It had four feet that propped a pool of the deep basin.

"I could imagine bubble baths people would die for in this thing." She had delightedly gushed.

* * *

Chad could still envision her soaking, bubbles almost overflowing as she listened to music. Closing her eyes and quietly singing along. If ever she had a particularly rough or stressful day she would burst through the door yelling. "I'll be in the tub!"

This bathroom was her sanctuary and he hoped that wherever she was made her feel as peaceful as her moments in here. Pressing the play button on her CD player the room echoed with the sounds of her. Halfheartedly grabbing one of the baskets of towels he dumped the contents into the tub and began collecting the random things she would never use again. He took one fleeting look at the bed and began to peeling off the sheets. It took him three times as long, but when he finally emerged dirty sheets and discarded items he felt like going back to the guest room to sleep for the rest of the day. That is when he heard the small cry from the room next door.

Chad could see Tawni jogging down the hallway, but he stopped her. "I'll... I want to get her." Stepping into the beautiful orange room he remembered painting it as Sonny mockingly sat in the rocking chair instructing orders playfully. The room seemed different today. Quickly he picked up the little girl and held her close. Holly quieted down and he sat down in the rocking chair.

"I'm so sorry hunny," Chad began apologizing. " Oh gosh have I missed you. I'm sorry daddy has been forgetting about you. I guess it just makes him sad to know that you missed out on growing up without your mom. You have an awesome room I am glad your mommy picked orange. She was so vibrant and amazing Holly and I know she thought the same about you."

Remembering all the times he would wake up to see Sonny singing as she rocked Holly to sleep. It didn't matter what time it was because her voice could have calmed oceans. Chad would forever miss it.

Tearfully he held his daughter. "I promise Holly, I'm not going to go anywhere. I love you and we will be ok."

* * *

**Thank you folks! **

**I apologize for not updating sooner, but my old computer crashed and I needed to get a new one.**

**I know that this isn't your typical love story, but I hope you will continue to read it. This chapter was both the easiest and hardest to write. I hope that showed. **


	5. Chapter 4: Just The Two Of Us

I do not own anything. I love Sonny with a Chance and felt inspired. Please don't sue me. Thanks and enjoy!

Title: **Bittersweet Memories**

Synopsis: What do you do when everything stops? When the breath in your lungs catches in your throat, the beats of your heart struggle? The greatest loss may not be death of something itself, but what dies for those left behind.

* * *

**Chapter 4: Just The Two Of Us**

_"Just the two of us, we can make it if we try. "_

"Are you sure you can handle this?" Tawni asked him for about the sixth time that day.

"Yes Tawni, I'm positive." Chad said confidently. The fact that he was terrified meant nothing because he knew he had to show Tawni he was ok with do this.

"Holly is not a puppy Chad, she is a little girl and she has a schedule you have to stick to." Tawni warned putting her luggage into the trunk of her car.

"I remember," Chad nodded. "She'll usually eat almost every three hours. Naps are at nine and one. Don't use the regular lotion on her skin. I think you forget that I did spend time with her before and that, oh that's right, she is my daughter."

Tawni gave him a sarcastic look as she continued unfazed. "She loves her froggy and if she is fussy or won't go to sleep you can rock her while singing. Can you even sing?" Tawni asked worriedly.

"I can try." Chad spoke laughing. "I should have natural fathering abilities correct?"

"Fine, she will usually fall asleep to Itsy Bitsy spider, Twinkle Twinkle, You are my Sunshine, or even the Mackenzie Falls theme song."

"Really?" Chad asked seriously.

Tawni gave him a slight eye-roll before answering. "She is your child after all. You can thank Sonny for that one. I just take that as a sign of how boring your show was." Tawni giggled sadly giving the little one a peck on the cheek.

"Its ok Tawni. Zora just went shopping for supplies, Grady made me enough meals to last until the apocalypse, and I told you I would call if I had any questions. Go home and enjoy your time with Trevor. You never know when it will be gone. Thank you very much for all you guys have done, but you need to go spend time with your fiance."

Tawni gave him one last assuring looking before getting into her car and driving off.

"Its just the two of us now." Chad said giving Holly a little kiss on her forehead.

The first day alone withh his daughter was heartbreaking. Chad tried so hard to make Holly happy knowing that deep down what she wanted and needed was her mother.

The next week was like a battlefield, but rewarding. Although Chad could remember getting up for four o' clock feedings and pouring coffee for Sonny many of the first months of Holly's life. He realized now how easy he had it. It was almost as if he was drowning in a sea of panic. Chad had no idea how Tawni Hart of all people knew more about his daughter than he did. The fact that she knew anything about children shocked him. Tawni and the rest of the gang left the day after Chad's intervention. He appreciated them greatly. While all of his Mackenzie Falls friends had gone on to glamorous lives and never looked back he was grateful for the way Sonny's cast mates had stuck to her and welcomed him into their family as well. The randoms helped him survive his first weeks without Sonny, but he was glad to start his new journey with just his daughter.

Between dirty diapers and countless bottles Chad no longer had time to miss Sonny. Holly gave his life a new perspective and new rules to live by. Yes the empty feeling was always present within his heart, but it suddenly had been replaced with the fear he would screw up. Many nights he would fall asleep in the rocking chair listening to the sweet sighs from his daughter. He would stay in her room during naps just to make sure she was breathing. Fear that even Holly would be taken away from him unlike a normal father. His thoughts would make him worry about permanently messing Holly up. Chad would have nightmares about finding Holly breathless and cold. Dreams that she would resent him and become a boyish teenager. He loved her so greatly and was afraid that he would never live up to what she needed. What if he gave her the wrong formula or the wrong type of baby food. However time was a cure for these fears and it was always moving along. The more moments he spent with his daughter the more he saw her unfailing nature. The personality quirks she had gained from Sonny were shining more and more through her growth. The little things he had received from him as well made him realize that they were both survivors.

* * *

Weeks blended into month and soon Holly was six months old. The month was May and the days were glorious. This particular one happened to be one of the most anticipated days in Southern California. Tawni Oliva Hart would be marrying Trevor Ethan Condor in a six figure wedding that Thursday night. The wedding planner had said the night would be a sight of perfection, however most of the guests closest to the couple knew it would never be anywhere close to perfect when the matron of honor wasn't there. At six months old though Holly was the type of flower girl that would be enough to save the day from the depression and despair.

It had taken Chad a good amount of time to get the hang of the single parenting thing, but he would never resent the time he had with Holly. She had received her mother's calming qualities and miraculously had became a simple child. Holly was already punctual and organized even at such a young age. Chad had no idea where this had come from, but mixed with the bright cheery smile that was always plastered across her chubby cheeks he knew these were the little signs the he felt a piece of Sonny would always be with him.

If Holly had gotten her mother's cheerfulness and calm she had also gotten Chad's confidence and bravery. At six months she was never afraid to be handed to a random stranger and this sometimes worried Chad about what it would be like when she got older. He loved her with everything he had and tried to protect her from the paparazzi. Holly was a special child and a spitting image of his former bride. The reporters knew this and they tried to write articles about the teenager Holly would become without Sonny around.

Reporter also asked him when he would get back into acting, but he never had the answers for them. Chad's life already felt so full with Holly that he honestly didn't know if he'd be able to. He always planned that maybe when she started school. Although this was his common excuse he was also afraid of leaving her. Life he had understood throughout his twenty-four years was so unexpected. Chad was horrified of losing Holly like he had lost everyone else. His agent had called at least three times a week now wondering when he would recover and be back soon. Chad enjoyed working with Ben, but this wasn't the stomach flu. People just didn't recover from this kind of thing. Chad would always give him a vague unresponsive answer and tell him to call in a month to see. Photographers were flashing picture like their cameras would explode if they didn't. Chad was worried about if all the flash photography would blind Holly. However as soon as it was over Zora brought the little girl back. Tawni had taken a break to visit with her old friend.

"You look beautiful Blondie." Chad smiled hugging her tightly. "Is it everything you thought it would be?"

Tawni whispered sadly hoping none of the People magazine people would hear. "This is a dream come true. It just isn't the same without my best friend. I wish she could have been here so badly." A tear started to leak from her professionally painted eyes.

"Don't ruin your make up." Chad said hugging her again. "I know what you mean, but you and I both know she would kick your butt if she saw you crying right now."

Tawni laughed. "You're right."

Chad took her shoulders, "I guess I can imagine she would say.' Enjoy Trevor and appreciate the time you have with him.' Or something gushy like that."

Tawni smacked him lightly on the head. "That was good. I could almost imagine her here. You think you'll ever get back into acting?"

"I don't really know right now." Chad spoke conflicted. " A part of me just can't bare to leave Holly. I'm scared to let something bad happen to her."

Tawni smiled very motherly as she sat down on one of the covered chairs. "You also need to remember that you have to let her grow up. You can't protect her from living. Holly is going to get scraped knees and broken arms, but she'll learn. Chad you can't prevent broken hearts or even her from getting bullied. I mean you can stop the bullies, but things need to happen in order for her to grow up. One day she is going to be an amazing girl, but she needs to make mistakes first. You can't prevent good things from happening to her either. I also think Sonny would kick your butt if she knew you weren't acting anymore. I think she would actually be a little in shock, since you once cared more about your acting then going out to Wisconsin with her."

What Tawni had said stuck with Chad as he took Holly home that night. Chad was elbow deep in bubbles as he gave Holly her biweekly bath. Seeing her giggling and splashing in the porcelain tub brought back the best memories. The tub calmed her and he was always reminded of his wife.

"What do you think little girl? Should daddy go back to work?" Chad asked only getting a giggle. "I guess that is a yes?"

Monday morning Chad called Ben and told him to give him a few days, but to set up an audition or two. Also that morning Chad began his search for a nanny. The task was nearly impossible, but in the end Chad decided to hire Grady's younger sister. Rebecca Mitchell was instantly enamored with both Chad and Holly. Her reaction almost made him cry as he remembered Sonny's first reaction. If Grady was any indication, he knew Becca would be a perfect fit for Holly. After he had hired a nanny he could trust it was onto the next difficult task. Ben had to book him some jobs. It had been almost a year since his last movie project and at least three since Mackenzie Falls ended. The news wasn't good, Ben had explained that he wasn't a teenager anymore and although he could maybe get a guest role on any of the teen dramas out there most of the casting directors didn't think he fell into the character they were looking for. It was the same with most of the movies. Most of them were going to bigger and more well known names like Efron and Pattinson. Then there was Holly.

Ben sat him down one day and explained the situation. "Chad I know you love Holly, but you can't jump up every time she has a hiccup. I understand your circumstances and most casting directors are sympathetic, but you need to work with them."

Chad shook his head in agreement. "I know Ben. I just feel horrible that she doesn't have Sonny around. Every time she gets a cold or an ear infection I want to do what her mommy would've done."

"I understand this Chad." Ben said softening. "You just don't have the same look that you once did. You need to have that extra oomph now. That means going that longer more serious mile. You trust Becca and you know you have a wonderful support system. Use them Chad. They all agree with me that you need a distraction from the negative thoughts."

Chad nodded, but was having a hard time focusing. Sonny had been right, this business is cold. His mind wandered to one of the last few memories he had of Sonny he hadn't visited yet.

* * *

It had only been a three weeks since Holly had been born. Chad had come home from a store run for more formula and diapers. They were supposed to be going to a Charity Event. Walking into the house he heard the familiar sound of her stereo. However the music was more harsh and he nearly stooped when he walked into the hurricane that was now their room.

"Hey Sonny! Darling I think it has finally happened, we've been robbed." Chad joked. Sonny had walked out of the bathroom defeated. Sleep deprivation had not given Sonny much of her normal bubbly sense of humor. Her eyes had formed slits as she motioned for him not to say another word about the messy state of the room.

"What's wrong?" Chad said smiling weakly.

"I'll tell you what is wrong Chad!" Sonny's voice had gotten a little louder. " We have to go to this stupid Charity Event and none of my cute shoes fit. My feet are still swollen. Everything I own makes me look horrible. I mean it is like trying to fit a great dane into a sock. I mean doesn't this make me look hideous?"

Chad's face had turned a shade of pale. "Is that a trick question?"

"No this isn't a trick question Chad?" Sonny said sarcastically. "I'm tired Chad. I don't want to complain because I love Holly, but it is hard enough trying to look good on a normal day, but three weeks after having a baby. It is impossible. My neck hurts, my arms hurt, my whole body aches. I have a migraine from getting only three hours of sleep a night. I just want to look beautiful like before."

"I don't know why you feel like this Sunshine?"

"Because there is going to be so many important people there. Directors and photographers. If I ever want to get into a serious role in the acting industry; well I can't look like this." Tears started to fall onto her face.

It broke Chad's heart to see what this was doing to her. His wife had always been a confident person who rarely cared what others thought of her. A girl that danced to the beat of her own drum. "Alison," he said seriously. Chad rarely used her given name unless he was trying to make a point. "Alison Cooper, you are the most beautiful young woman I have ever met. Please don't talk down about yourself. Gosh I've been in love with you since we were teenagers. That won't ever change. For me or for anyone. You look more mature and sexy. I like that."

Sonny smiled and emerged fifteen minutes later. "This business is cruel Chad, you will never know though because you are beloved everywhere. There is also the fact that most men never have to worry about it." Sonny said plainly before getting into the car that night. "Thank you though. Those words are why I love you." She placed a loving kiss on his neck as she hugged him tightly.

* * *

"Ben, I need to do something. I am going to go to Wisconsin for the week. I promise I'll be back before the next audition." Chad said seriously.

For once Ben said nothing professionally related, "I think that is a good idea. Go there and see your in-laws. Get some of that fresh air and clear your head. Have a good trip."

By five o' clock that evening Chad and Holly were on the next flight to Wisconsin. Chad had called Betsy and asked her to meet him at the airport, but not to tell anyone else he was coming. Betsy's face was lit with excitement as he walked out of the terminal.

"Oh gosh Chadwick it is so great to see you!" Besty said gleefully using the nickname for her little brother in law.

"Hi Elizabeth," Chad said pretending to be annoyed as he used her full name which he knew annoyed her. "Where is Jeff?"

"He is in the truck, but let us get your luggage and let me take the most beautiful baby in the world. We will head over to my folks house." Betsy motioned toward the baggage carousal as Chad shook his head in agreement.

Once they got into the truck Betsy look at Chad sorrowful. "How ya doin' little brother?" Chad was in love with the family he married into. They always treated him like he was born into it. He adored the way they were casual and he could let his guard down. Chad had missed Wisconsin and the way he didn't have to feel watched or judged here.

"Busy, ya know Holly can take up a lot of time." Chad said trying not to act like there was an elephant around.

"I miss her too," Betsy said softly after a few silent moments. "I can't believe how fast time goes by. It feels like the world should have stopped. You know the feeling? I sometimes go to call her and remember." Betsy's eyes started to water as Jeff handed her a tissue.

"Well there is still someone at the other end." Chad said with a sad smile.

"I know that silly. I guess we all forget sometimes. Anyways you picked a good night to come because we are celebrating our engagement. We are getting married in October."

Chad's smiled changed to a more genuine one as he spoke, "That is great you guys! I wish you the best."

"Thanks." They had said in unison. Jeff was normally a huge chatterbox which made him the perfect match for Betsy. However he was also not good with words when it came to tragic events.

"We're here," Betsy said exciting herself out of his sadness. "Mom is going to flip when she sees you two, especially you princess." She said unbuckling Holly from the car seat.

As predicted Connie Monroe nearly suffocated both of the Coopers with hugs. The house was filled with happiness and excitement as Chad walked through the door. Emily immediately grabbed her niece and Holly enjoyed the attention. Chad knew that this is what he needed. He loved his extended family and being with them he was reminded of why he fell in love with Sonny. There was always someone around and someone to talk to. Chad was not an expected child, so he enjoyed having siblings. He loved having people available that cared about him.

Elizabeth Monroe was Sonny's older sister by three years. At twenty-six she was the motherly one and the typical oldest child. She was caring and lovable. Betsy talked with a sense of intense that made you want to listen to everything she had to say. She had met Jeff at college in Minnesota and they had continued dating as they both chose to go to medical school. Betsy had graduated from high school the year that Sonny had gotten her spot on So Random. She was sad that she didn't get to see her middle sister a lot throughout those years, but she appreciated all the phone calls and pictures she received during those long hours studying biology. Chad liked the fact that Besty knew who he was, but didn't watch a lot of the programs that her younger sisters had. She treated him like a normal person.

Emmalyn Monroe was different. Sonny's little sister was four years younger than Sonny. At nineteen she was very aware of who Chad was. If Elizabeth was the brains and Sonny was the funny one in their family that made Emily the drama queen. She was the baby of the family and often used that to her advantage. Although she had calmed throughout the years he would always remember the first time he had met Emily. She was so excited that she could hardly speak without squeaking. She was memorized by her teen idol and had often been frustrated when Sonny would share news of how arrogant Chad was. Throughout the years he grew to adore Emily and enjoyed having someone to look out for. Since the day he married Sonny he felt a great sense of protection towards the younger girl. Once Em had grown up and found her high school sweetheart in Tommy, her crush on Chad was quickly over. Chad and her were finally able to be brother and sister.

It was hard for the Monroes when Sonny landed her spot on So Random. Betsy headed off to college and Sonny went off to California. Since Sonny was only a sophomore when she had gotten her part Connie went off to California and Greg stayed with Emily. Once Sonny was eighteen Connie came back to Wisconsin. However Sonny was always persistent about calling her family as much as she could. Chad always noticed that Sonny was in a better mood after having a conversation with her mother or one of her sisters. Sonny tried her best to visit her family. Chad loved the mood Wisconsin put her in. The last time she had seen them was a few months after she found out she was pregnant with Holly. Her mom quickly set up a baby shower for her hometown friends. Chad had to work and was unable to come, looking at the woman laughing at the dinner table he began to miss her even more.

"You must be exhausted." Connie said after dinner. "Emily why don't you take them to Sonny's old room. Is that ok?" She asked cautiously.

"That will be great. Thank you Mrs. Monroe. Connie." Chad said correcting himself.

Chad lay looking around the room. Sleep would not find him tonight. It was difficult to be in the room she grew up in and not miss her. Trophies from her first singing competitions, pictures of her in funny glasses and hot pink leggings, and posters of all of her favorite bands littered the room. It was impossible for Chad to fall asleep to these memories; he wanted to stay in this room forever keeping these pieces of her. That wasn't reality though, but until he had to go home he was going to learn more about the girl he fell in love with. He assumed he would always have time to learn about the life before him, but that time was cut short. Getting up from the bed he began to open up drawers revealing old boy band t-shirts. In her jewelry box was a necklace made at a summer camp. All things he hoped he could take for Holly to grow up with. Finally the tears fell and allowed him to become exhausted enough to close his eyes. Soon he was sound asleep; the best night of sleep he had had in almost a year. There was something about Sonny's room that made him feel safe and he like that.

In the morning he woke up late. Panic struck him as he realized that it was 11:00 in the morning. Why hadn't he heard Holly wake up? Running out into the kitchen he was greeted by Emily.

"Woah Cowboy, what's the hurry?" Emily said over her bowl of cereal.

"I must have overslept! Where is Holly?" Chad said a little out of breath.

"Don't worry," Emily laughed. "I promise nobody has kidnapped her. Mom wanted to let you sleep so she and Betsy took Holly shopping with them. I think they were going to go to the zoo as well. They wanted to give you a little break."

Chad sat down on one of the bar stool across from his younger sister-in-law. "What are you eating?"

"Coco puffs, you want some?" She had said with her mouth full.

"Sure, I haven't had coco puffs in... well ever." Chad had said a little surprised.

"Wait, like really? How can you never have had coco puffs. Too low class for peeps in LA?"

"No, I guess I was always a Lucky Charms guy when I was a kid. That is the only kids cereal I can remember eating."

Emily shoved another spoonful indicating that she was listening and to continue.

"Once I moved to California I was put on special diets and forced to eat boring crap. Once Sonny and I got married we ate hamburgers and such, but tried to have more sustainable breakfast foods. We ate a lot of wheat toast and egg whites."

"That sounds rather boring, I'm sorry." Emily said slurping down the milk from her bowl.

"I think the best things I ever ate were when she was pregnant with Holly. She had a craving for waffles with strawberries on them. We ate so much pizza and fast food. I miss those months. We didn't care about diets or calories, it was just about enjoying food. It was amazing." Chad said feeling the lump in his throat.

Emily had gotten quiet and Chad realized he was being a little of a downer. He quickly changed the subject. "So how is college?"

Emily smiled. "How about we get dressed and I will tell you about on the way."

"On the way to where?" Chad said confused.

"I want to show you where we went to High School, where Sonny went before So Random and Hollywood."

So they trekked towards the high school. It was amazing trip and he was thankful that while all the memories piled up Emily talked about college and her high school graduation. Things about their everyday lives that made the outing more informational and less sad. Chad loved being with the Monroes. Homemade dinners and a loving family that cared. The week went by fast. It was exactly what Chad needed. By the time Chad left he felt wonderful. Being with the Monroes gave him back everything he missed about Sonny. He promised to call and visit more often. He promised to send more pictures of himself and Holly.

Chad was almost overcome with emotion as Connie Monroe spoke before he got into Emily's car. "You might think it is just the two of you now, but remember that is never true. You will always have a family here no matter what the circumstances are. We love you Chad. Don't be afraid or think we don't. Have a safe journey home and please call soon. You and Holly remind us that Sonny was more than just our little girl. She was a part of your family as well. You two make us miss her a tiny bit less."

"Thank you." Chad said hugging her firmly.

* * *

**Dear Readers:**

**Thank you so very much for reading. I enjoy every comment you send and every suggestion you have. I wanted to let you know that I am will be away at Summer Camp for the summer, so I won't be able to update until August at the earliest. However! The story is almost done. It is bittersweet feeling, but I know when it is done it will be a happy occasion. Thanks Again and enjoy.**


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